It’s been awhile, too long. And my life has changed dramatically since I started this blog last year, and I’m vowing to do a better job at posting this time around — not only as someone with a passion for the sport of running, but for a #BadAssMotherRunner.
I’ll update everyone soon. But I had to get this out while it’s fresh on my mind.
This morning during my recovery run, all I could think about was how hard things have gotten in the past two weeks.
This is how today started… after two late night feedings for the babe, he awoke around 5 a.m. and after three attempts at feeding him and putting him back down I finally gave up and decided we would all wake up for morning family playtime, while I rushed around in the dark preparing for my run. Meanwhile, I pump (just in case), take the pup, out attempt to stretch before quietly sneaking out into the dark sky.
I’m worried it may be icey — it’s not, thank goodness, but the clock is ticking by, and I don’t have much time for a warm up (which SUCKS because — HIP PAIN), and I take my first steps.. the first steps, first mile is always the hardest especially now, I’m thinking immediately when will I be done, when can I get back to my babe. It wasn’t this way when I started back running postpartum after having Miles, I loved getting outside, and hurrying back… but since returning to work, leaving is HARD.
Running postpartum was hard, but also enjoyable.
Returning to work and being a mom is harder, down right not fun.
The combination of training and working full-time is nearly impossible.
This is what I was thinking about around mile two of my run. It was cold, it was dark, I was tired. I’m nursing a sore hip and some other pains these days, but I also LOVED being outside and knowing I was getting my run in. So many emotions, and running allows me to get them out, no matter how hard it can be. The sun was starting to come up as I eased into my pick ups (5x :20 HARD with 1:40 recovery). I started feeling stronger and ready for the day.
I don’t mind these mornings, but I miss the recovery time with my wee bird. I head home to shower/prep for the day and feed the babe before heading off to work for what has become the longest days of my life. Not because the days go slow, but because I feel like I’m missing a piece of myself when I’m away from Miles.
Nights go to fast – once I’m home it’s basically bed time for the wee bird, and then I attempt to stretch and roll recovery, before getting to bed myself.
Yesterday, Steph Bruce shared this amazing post on the Oiselle Blog that inspired me so much to run today – #WinWithOne. It’s amazing to belong to this team, and be surrounded by such a supportive community of mother runners. I have become so close with so many of you during this time and it’s great that we can continue to push each other, but also be there to deal with the frustrations of how hard this all really is.
They say it get’s easier, I don’t think it ever will… I just think moms get stronger. I don’t know how I’m going to run a marathon in 76 days, but I do know that I can do hard things.